aa-ros.

"Aa-ros" (the "aa" is pronounced like "a" in "all", "ros" is like the name "Ross" except with a long "o") means wedding in Mai Mai and Mushungulu, the tribal languages of the Somali Bantu that I tutor/teach English to.

We've gone to 2 weddings in the past 3 weeks. They were the weddings of two of my (Kim's) Somali Bantu girls that I tutor. They are 18 years old. Boy are Somali Bantu weddings different from our traditional American weddings! It was an honor to be there, to support these girls and their families, and to observe and take in what a wedding looks like in another culture.

Here are some things we've learned about Somali Bantu weddings:

1. The "wedding" is actually a big party that lasts 5-6 hours and consists mostly of dancing. It is held in a gym or in a "great room". Often times the families will cover the walls with African material. The guests sit in chairs that line the walls.

2. The actual "ceremony" takes place the day before but only the groom and men in the bride's family are a part of it. They go to the mosque, exchange some words with a sheikh, and sign a marriage license. The families also enjoy meals together with friends and extended family on that day.

3. It is customary for the bride and groom to look sad as they enter the wedding arty. The groom will smile later on throughout the party, but not at the entrance. The bride does not smile at all throughout the entire party. This is to demon- strate their saddness at leaving their family and leaving their singlehood to move into adulthood. This is Habiba and Mohamed with Daniel and me.

4. The bride and groom have a wedding party. They each have 4 people as their wedding party. The girls all wear the same thing, including the bride...and the color scheme is bright! This is Musekwa and Hassan and Musekwa's bridesmaids. We were told that the wedding party are close friends of the bride and groom, but I have my doubts. In both weddings we went to, the girls that were chosen to be "brides- maids" were girls I have rarely seen the brides hang out with (and I've been a part of this community for 2 years!)

5. At the party, there is a lot of dancing. Sometimes there is a line of guys and a line of girls facing each other. The guys and girls take turns shuffling/ dancing toward one another.


6. Another part of the dancing involves money. We're not sure of the details of that, but at both of the weddings we saw different guests give money to the people dancing which we assume will be given to the bride and groom. Like we said, we're a bit cloudy on those details.

7. Dancing also involves another realm where they dance in a circle. Sometimes the circle is a mixture of women and the bride and groom. Other times it's only women. In either case, the bride and sometimes her bridal party get in the middle of the circle and older women in the community come up to the bride and offer her advice, trying to "cheer her up" about this step into womanhood. The other guests sit around the edge of the room and watch.